breaking the hush

Valentines Day has to be one of my favorite holidays! I know most singles resent the day because of the large awareness it brings to their singleness, but not me! Rarely in the past, being in a relationship for Valentines Day – I still had the urge to make someone my Valentine, usually my sister, whom I’m sure never minded the flowers and chocolate. I even made my boss, as well as close friend, my Valentine last year! (Miss you Alaine!) Maybe this is all because I’m a romantic at heart, or maybe because it’s all about love!

If you’ve read any of chapter 7 of my book-in-progress, you know I answer the question, “Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?” with “it is better to have loved.” Love is such a powerful emotion and probably the hardest to control.

The Lord commands us to love Him and if we true Christians come to the revelation of God’s love, it should be very possible knowing how unconditional His love is! But, what about that second part? Love others as our self? Some of us love ourselves ALOT and some of us may not love ourselves at all and don’t know how to love others. The good thing is we love God first. In doing this, He is able to teach us as we draw closer to Him and see His traits and take those on ourselves. Even learning to love others where love tends to be conditional, or not returned at all. This, I believe, us a love that comes only from the Spirit of God.

My admiration for Valentines Day, is it the romantic in me or the Spirit? I like to think it’s a little of both!

Love you ALL!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I read a book a few weeks ago called “The Hiding Place” by Corrie Ten Boom-a great Christian classic! The book is a biography of Corrie and her family who hide Jews in Holland during the Holocaust in 1944. Corrie and her family were eventually caught a placed in concentration camps. When Corrie and her sister Betsie were transferred to an over-crowded barrack, Corrie and her sister immediately began to complain but Betsie reminded her of the formerly mentioned scripture.

“That’s it Corrie…give thanks in all circumstances. That’s what we can do. We can start right now to thank God for every single thing about this new barrack.’

I stared at her, then around me at the dark, foul-aired room. ‘Such as?’ I said.

‘Such as being assigned here together.’

I bit my lip, ‘Oh, yes Lord.’

‘Thank you for the very crowding here. Since we are packed so close, than many more will hear the gospel.

She looked at me expectantly, ‘Corrie,’ she prodded.

‘Oh all right. Thank you for the jammed, crowded, stuffed, packed, suffocating crowds.’

‘Thank you, ‘Betsie went on serenely, ‘for the fleas and for the----’

The fleas! This was too much. ‘Betsie, no way, even God can make me grateful for a flea.’

‘Give thanks in ALL circumstances,’ she quoted. ‘It doesn’t say in pleasant circumstances.  Fleas are part of this place where God has put us.’

And so we stood between piers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas. But this time I was sure Betsie was wrong.

Did Paul really know what he was asking of the Thessalonians, and inadvertently us, in that letter? The other day my sisters drove a few hours to come visit and after four hours of waiting were turned away with no visit. Honestly, I was sad. I told a friend of mine and what did he tell me? “In all things give thanks, Shawn.” Wow! That blind-sided me but immediately pricked my heart and I began to thank God!

In reading Exodus, I get do mad at the Israelites! I mark my Bible up-writing words like-“ungrateful,” “useless,” and phrases like “If I were God they would be out of there” or “Wow! How patient You were and slow to anger.” Then with prayers like, “God, let me not forget your blessings of past.” “Help me always to trust You and keep me from grumbling.” It’s so easy for us to look at the Israelites in disdain but how many times do we do the same thing? How many times have we seen the hand of God move in and around us-even standing in awe of His goodness just to later begin to complain at our circumstances, even after seeing and knowing His sovereignty?!

I do believe Paul knew exactly what he was asking! A man who was persecuted, imprisoned, and tortured for his faith, and yet still praised God.

Sometimes, we won’t see the purpose of our situation that brings us to complain until hindsight, if God allows it to be revealed at all. But, Paul doesn’t care if we understand why, he wants us to understand God’s sovereignty and in that, trust Him and give thanks knowing this-which I can do.

In the Hiding Place, a few chapters later, Corrie Ten Boom found out that they had so much freedom to spread the Gospel in those barracks and the reason was because no guard would step foot in the door. Why? For no other reason than the large infestation of FLEAS!! So, in our lives, when situations come, no matter how big, small, good, or bad remember to be joyful, pray always, and give thanks – even for the fleas!

**To the young lady who will mend hearts with her compassion, and move God’s hand with her tears, I love you and miss you! Happy 10th Birthday, Zoe Grace Mackenzie Deats**

My sister wrote me a while back with a question that was posed to her that really made me think, and that I have since begun to ask others. The question is, "Who is God to You?" Of course, to all of us we should call Him Savior and Lord, but what else? For example, to one He could be “Sovereign” or another “Love.”

A month or so ago, I gave Saulo the same question and a few days ago he came to me with excitement and an answer! “Shawn,” he says, “I know what He is to me! He’s my hero!” I thought about it and how appropriate! His “hero.”  Someone he admires and longs to be like – someone who has done great deeds – and of course a saver of lives—THE SAVER of HIS LIFE – his Hero! For Saulo, this is the perfect answer! Whatever someone’s answer may be, I’m sure any of us would be able to relate – but is there a specific adjective or noun that you could give your God that makes Him that much more personal to you?

I challenge you to spend time with Him and discover who He is to you! If you already know, I would like to hear; if you don’t, spend some time with Him, think about it and let me know – I’m curious of how many names of God we can come up with to make our relationships with Him personal. As for me and who He is…I’ll save that for another blog;)

*To a woman whose strength I admire – whose vulnerability is rare but treasured – and friendship is forever! I love and miss you! Happy Birthday Amy Kirk-Dunbar!*

*To the young lady whose words will reach nations and selflessness will prick hearts, who will “go” until the whole world knows! Stay strong! I love and miss you!            Happy Birthday Liliana Drew Blythe Deats*

     I wanted to write and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year! Please know that I am full of Peace this season, even away from my friends and family. Know that I have found new brothers in Christ that I will be spending the Holidays with. God has been so good to me that I won’t even begin to tell you of my sorrow because I don’t have any! In fact, my heart is filled with excitement for what the New Year is bringing.
     I was reading the other day, and came across a scripture that has been imprinted on my heart for the New Year…Isaiah 43: 18-19-“But the Lord says, ‘Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already – you can see it now!’”
     Friends, I can see it, I can feel it and even taste it! 2012 is bringing with it fulfilled prophecy, miracles, and a deeper relationship with Him in my life – not to mention lost souls! Please continue to pray for my new friends and me. Pray for wisdom, increased faith, released gifts, and boldness. I love each of you and am more than just content where I reside – I am happy and ask that you don’t grieve in my absence this holiday season, but you rejoice in what our Lord is doing and thank Him for placing me here for such a time as this! Again, understand that I am not sad but full of joy…I truly know that peace that passes all understanding!
     I do ask for one more thing – my friend Erick has yet to be filled with the Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues…He is the Apologist I spoke of in an earlier blog, who desires nothing but more of God and all He has for Him. Well, I would like him to receive that gift this Christmas. Your prayers would mean the world! I love you all! Grace and Peace!

**To the young lady who is tearing down principalities through your prayers. I can’t wait to see the powerhouse you become. We babies stick together! Happy 6th birthday Emily Ava Jayden Deats! Love, Uncle Shawn**

Merry Christmas.

Shawn

     In prison you meet people from all different backgrounds. Some you would choose to live with and others, well…you know. There are a few guys in my dorm that I have really learned to love in the Lord. Each of us with out own ugly pasts that got us here, but who recognize God’s redemption and are moving forward. We’ve started to meet together every day and in our discussions have realized that God is calling us to pray harder, listen closer, and to reach farther; way beyond out little table. God has been ordering our steps and pricking our hearts for what pricks His.
      The other night we caught a glimpse of a news story of a young lady named Lauren. From our understanding, she was on a Christmas lights plane tour and upon landing, she got out of the plane, holding the door open for another passenger to enter and she got too close to the plane’s propeller. The propeller, injuring her left hand, which was later amputated, blinding her left eye, and lacerating her chest. Our understanding is that she was on her way into the fashion industry, possibly as a model, even having been signed by a reputable clothing line.
     Like most, our hearts were broken with compassion, which urged us to pray. On December 6th at 10pm, a group of us interceded on the behalf of Lauren. Praying for a quick recovery, but most importantly for spiritual and emotional strength. It turns out that Lauren Scruggs and her family are Christians. Through the media- this family is getting to share their hope that they have in Christ. It is making such an impact that reporters are now updating and can only speak of the incredible attitudes of the Scruggs’ and how they have such peace in such a time of sorrow. What has seemed to be a tragedy in Lauren’s life has done nothing but become a beacon of hope in others through her reaction to her “lost” dream. The one thing that my brothers and I know is that no matter what happens in our lives, whether accidental tragedy or wrong choices, nothing can limit God from fulfilling His plans for us.

**To Lauren: You don’t know us, or the many others that are standing before the I Am on your behalf, but know that we are excited for how God is and will continue to use you. Know that His plans are higher and much greater than our own and He has great things in store. Be encouraged that your hope in the living God has already impacted so many and that we are victorious over the plans of our enemy with a limitless God! Psalms 18:4-19**

Breaking the Hush,

Shawn

     A week or so ago, God challenged me to pray! I have fallen so much in love God’s Word – it’s like I’m reading it all new for the first time! –it seems like with the lack of privacy, my prayer life has decreased as my reading has GREATLY increased. He reminded me of the Muslim in my dorm the first week I was here – I mentioned him in an earlier blog – and how he didn’t care about privacy, but did it anyway! So, in perfect Holy Spirit fashion, I was yet again convicted. One day, while meeting with the guys, I shared my heart about my lack of prayer, and it seemed like we all were in the same boat! I shared the challenge that the Lord had given me – to make a time and find a place – like the Muslim, no matter who was watching or hearing – not to be a Pharisee, but out of pure desperation to spend time with the I Am, abandoning our own inhibitions. We discussed it, and decided that we would do whatever we needed to, for prayer – including missing a trip to the chow hall for a few minutes of privacy. At the end of each day, we would check up to see if we got our time in.
     This morning, we were in some type of lockdown. As we awoke, we had to stay in our bunks, which means no TV and plenty of quiet! A perfect time for prayer! Obviously, I wasn’t the only one who thought so; as I looked around, I saw men begin praying, and not only the guys who heard my challenge, but also others who are hungry for God! Something welled up inside of me – maybe I was proud of these men accepting and listening to the Lord, or maybe it was excitement for what God is getting ready to do here at Gurney. Whatever it is, it is not going away anytime soon. Please pray for us men, that as we draw closer to Him, we will only desire to know Him more and that as we learn to listen, we will begin to obey, This is our desire! To be vessels – an extension of God’s hands, mouth, and feet to the hurting men; that we will understand that sacrificing time, pride, and inhibitions is worth hearing as obeying Him is greater than these sacrifices we make.

With last week being Thanksgiving, my mind is bombarded with thoughts of gratitude for family, friends, and you, my readers. Believe me when I say that every comment, message, and email are sent to me and I read them several times over. I thank you for your encouragement and prayers. I want to let you all know of my increasing love for God and His continual divine movement in my life. I am now at a point where I can see this time of incarceration as essential for my future ministry and spiritual growth. I thank God for the Godly, Spirit-filled men that He has placed in very close connection with myself as well as the hungry, hurting men God wants us to reach with His words of life and purpose. This week, in one of our services, the guest speaker gave a dynamic message of forgiveness, using three examples from the Word: David, after the confrontation from Nathan, the adulterous women, and the thief crucified beside Christ. The message, yet so simple, joined with worship, left room for the Holy Spirit to work. (It reminded me of the salvation message Dr. Doyle Jones spoke over 12 years ago, that I responded to!) While waiting to exot, I noticed a man sitting in front of Erick, a guy from my dorm whom I believe will one day be a great apologist-defending the Truth with a Holy Spirit anointing and advancing the Kingdom of God. With prompting from the Spirit, and before I even knew what I was doing, I tapped the man on the shoulder and introduced myself. I began to tell him of my hope in God and not man, parole, or my release. I told him that when he wants to give up, to cry to Jesus, because He is real and He can and will hear him. I told him that He is alive and real as much as we are, that he can converse with Him just as a friend. I asked him his name, and through his tears he thanked me. I told him that I would be praying for him. So, please, as you mention my name before the Creator-remember Jason as well. And the other Jason’s’ that we haven’t come in contact with, who are looking for what Paul refers to as “the secret,” that we Christian brothers have and are yearning to share.

For God’s Spirit and divine order, for the “Jason’s’” now and to come, my new friends, those loved ones praying for us on the outside, and YOU, I give thanks this season!

**To a woman full of wisdom, humility, and love. A lady who has encouraged, challenged, and inspired godly men and women leaders that will and have reached nations. We thank you, love you, and I miss you. Happy Birthday Ms. Rury!

I was convicted the other day – “Surprise! Surprise! So far, during my total year of incarceration (including the three months while on probation) the Lord has always put me in the best dorms with some great guys! This kind of thing has followed me my entire life, like getting in the best classes with the best teachers. Anyhow, I was moved from a temporary dorm to a permanent dorm in the facility where I currently reside. As soon as I walked in and put my things away, I began to hear stories from the first people I met, about the bad reputation for “D” dorm! How they just came off lockdown and the warden is ready to “gas the place up.” Of course, I immediately began to question God in my spirit and was a little confused. Later that day, I was reading and doing some research and study out of the Gospels looking for a specific scripture, when I came across Mark 2. Here, Jesus calls Levi to be a disciple and is eating at his house with prostitutes, tax collectors, outcasts, and ragamuffins. The Pharisees are on his case again and questions His company. In verse 17, Jesus responds to their inquiries saying, “It is not the healthy that need a doctor but the sick, I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinner.” (NIV). After reading this, my heart sank and I realized His purpose. Since being in this tank/dorm, I have met some incredible, spirit-filled men of God. These men, who I found out later, had been praying for me to come – they didn’t know me by name, but were praying for reinforcements to reach “the sinner” while I was comfortable with “the righteous.” Now, my Christian brothers and I are doing our part to change “D” from disaster to delivered! Please pray for us, as we are being thoroughly watched by other men, that everything we do is in love and points to Christ as we work to change “D” from disaster to delivered one man at a time!

I can’t tell you the last time I bowed my head to pray for my meal. The last time I sincerely thanked God for what I was about to eat. Well, the other day at lunch, all three of the men bowed their heads and silently thanked Him for theirs. It got me thinking, what happened? As I evaluated myself, I found the answer. Anything that I saw as “religious” (repetitive, legalistic) that I was taught growing up, I stopped doing. I think I got so tired of others being so Pharisee-like, that I began to question everyone who would do these things, and decided that I didn’t need them to show my relationship with the Lord. Well, one of the last visits I had with Shanell-the oldest of the three of us-we were talking about something and she mentioned something that she remembered me saying years back in a testimony. That “sometimes not being religious became our religion.” We are so set that actions make up facades in the church, that no matter what a heart may hold in doing those things-we will not. For example, those of us who grew up in church remember worship moving from hymnals to projection. Some of the older crowd may have called it “singing off the wall.” With so much criticism from the “older” crowd at church, saying that the music is too loud and that you can’t worship without a hymnal – “we need hymnals” – in a way made these songbooks idols of religion. But, for those younger shakers and movers, you/we didn’t open up to true worship until the words were plastered on the wall. And now there are even some of those so-called shakers and movers that feel stifled without the instruments and jumbo trons. You/we are so stuck on not using hymnals because the spirit of religion parallels those books in your/our mind, that singing on the jumbo tron with full instrumental and vocals have now become your/our religion. We have made NOT being religious our new religion. I use this specific example because I have been there.  I think I want “REAL” so bad that I just choose to not do it if I saw/see others not being real. But as my relationship grows with the Lord, I am convicted.  I have now made not not being real my religion.

Are these men bowing their heads for show? Maybe. Maybe not. Does my head even have to be bowed? No. But, I don’t know their heart – and who knows, “pork roll” may really have been what they desired that day and they were truly grateful. Maybe I should think of that next time I get to eat a pint of ice cream or lasagna, and not only thank Him from the deepest gratitude of my heart, head bowed or not, but ask Him to continue to show me true and spiritual worship. Living real without making it, and not only thank Him from the deepest gratitude of my heart, head bowed or not, but ask Him to continue to show me true and spiritual worship. Living real without making it my religion.

Breaking the Hush,

Shawn

Prison church is different from any other church I’ve been to. Besides the fact that we are all wearing the exact same thing – we are all different in beliefs, backgrounds, etc. My first service, even though worship here is probably better than most churches, I was very timid in raising my hands. For someone with a heart of worship and wants nothing but to surrender my entire self to the Lord Master, this was unusual. Being in this “different” environment had done something to me. Was I nervous? Scared? Ashamed? When I got back to my dorm, I noticed a guy bowing in prayer. I began to observe and realized that this man was devout in his praying; laying down his towel, bowing repetitively, facing the same direction every time, several times a day. This man had no problem with who was watching or what they thought. If he was nervous or scared, it didn’t show and his actions proved that he was not ashamed. The Lord spoke to me, “If you are ashamed of me and of my teaching…then the Son of Man will be ashamed of you when he comes in the glory of the Father” Mark 8:38. ‘Shawn, if he can bow to a god that doesn’t exist, proclaiming lies, then you should be able to worship Me, in Spirit and in truth, for the world to know the One True God, the I Am, their Creator, who loves them and will answer their cries!’” As I write this down, I am still crying, “repentance!” God, never again let myself get in the way of you. Help me to live 100% for you and walk in 100% obedience, knowing that you are 100% pleased with me!

Breaking the Hush,

Shawn