These are Shawn's writings. They are real, they are raw, they are fresh. These writings are the rawest part of himself, his struggles with God, his struggles with himself, his fears, doubts, hopes, dreams, and everything else he's facing. They are posted as the latest entry first, so for the best understanding, start with his earliest post.
Posted by [email protected] on September 10, 2011 at 7:25 PM
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Who am I that God would speak to me? Speak through me? Show me God, what part of me is keeping me from seeing your face? What impurities? Break me and burn me! Kill this flesh! I wake up, longing to die! To see your face! What else matters? The walls that contain me are the walls I want, no, I need you to fill! Every crack and crevice! Bring repentance –show me what to sacrifice, what to lay at the altar and kill! Only dead men can see your face. Even now, I think of all ...
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Posted by [email protected] on September 2, 2011 at 5:35 PM
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Today wasn’t the greatest day. I began to lose focus on my purpose here. I began to look at the size of the giant and not the size of the prize. Needless to say, my giant looked impossible to defeat, but then I got a letter, which seemed to be perfect timing. “Did you know that you minister to me every single day? I think about you every day, man. The darkness that we both shared is consumed and held at bay with the light that you shone into my life, and every time I think about ...
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Posted by [email protected] on August 27, 2011 at 5:35 PM
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My friend died today ~ you killed him. You didn’t pull a trigger or cut him up, but you killed him the same. You wanted your “punishment” and your $300 a day, all while keeping him from his chemo! What? You didn’t want to pay the cost of the treatment? Well who has paid the ultimate cost now? Was his life worth it? Your 98% convictions and $300 a day – was it? You cry “JUSTICE!” Well, where is HIS justice? Who gets put on trial for HIS death? Wh...
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Posted by [email protected] on August 18, 2011 at 6:30 PM
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Part of my daily reading-
“God keeps every promise He makes. He is like a shield for all who seek His protection! If you claim that He said something that He never said, He will reprimand you and show that you are a liar”
~Proverbs 30:5-6 (Good News Translation)
Ooops! My Bad!
Breaking the Hush,
Shawn
Posted by [email protected] on August 16, 2011 at 5:30 PM
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I heard some news today that got me thinking—of course I’ve been “thinking” a lot lately but this thinking led to anger! All part of the process I suppose. First, I was angry with the “system” – a specific system and the people in charge of it ~ how can institutions get away with the things they do? Where are the advocates? No one becomes an advocate because they must go through the “system” to catch on and then by the time they esca...
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Posted by [email protected] on August 3, 2011 at 6:00 PM
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I don't really know what to feel, how to feel. if to feel! I don't have an appetite, I want to sleep but I can't, I don't want to think but that's all that is happening. I don't want to question God, but just trust Him - I can't dwell on "what if's" or regrets. I can only look forward - move forward.
Move forward in a world so unknown to me. I'm a foreigner, alien...Hope? Faith? Are you there? What is this? Despair? Depress...
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