breaking the hush

You know, I’ve gotten to experience a lot of things over the past week and a half that I haven’t had in seven months. When in a county jail, you basically stay in one room 24/7. In the one I was in, even the recreation room was directly connected to the dorm, so there was no movement outside. When going to court, there was a tunnel connecting the jail to the courthouse that we walked through, still depriving us of the sun and fresh air. It wasn’t until I left to go to “big boy prison” that I was able to step outside and breath in fresh cut grass and morning dew. We rode in a van and it was the most comfortable seat I had had in seven months. You see, everything in jail is metal-tables, stools, benches, etc. During the ride we got to listen to the radio –ah, music! There was a country song playing that was so appropriate for us convicts, “What was I thinking?”  During the ride I saw the sun rise – a beautiful orange and pink sky as we drove south – it took everything inside me to keep from crying.
As the days went on, I realized how much better prison, as opposed to county, really is! I go outside everyday several times a day. On my way to the library last week I even got to feel raindrops on my skin! It was surreal! Today, I went to commissary for the first time in prison-in the county commissary, you are limited to nonperishable dried goods and hygiene. Well, in prison, you can buy entire loaves of bread, jars of peanut butter and jelly, ice-cold sodas, and of course my favorite, ice cream! Today I indulged in my first pint, in what seems like an eternity! Did I enjoy it? Yes, very much so, but the entire time I ate, I could only thank God for putting so much into perspective in my life. The ice cream was sweet, so much it almost made me sick, but the lessons I am learning are sweeter. I thank Him for teaching me how to appreciate the small things, as well as the big things, even the option of choosing a birthday card for your mom and not have some manly, unattractive, dull card chosen for you, that that ice cream would have been a thousand times more enjoyed if it was being shared by Angie at the movies, or even my dog at home.
For those of you that read this, please think of me when you open your next ice cold soda, or share your next spoonful of ice cream with a loved one or even your dogJ Take advantage of the time you have with those friends and family-hug their neck an extra time today, put a piece of ice in the dogs water bowl, or just tell that friend, spouse, sister, parent, how much you love them once more. Do it for me. Make sure not to take one person, food, smell, favorite thing, for granted today! Then thank God for those things, that you will get to experience them for a long time coming, and I will thank Him for you, and the hope that I have in my physical freedom to one day enjoy those simple things in life again-never forgetting how sweet they are.

Breaking the Hush,

Shawn