breaking the hush

They say that we relate our relationship with our Heavenly Father by the one we have with our earthly father. In other words, however we see ‘dad,’ we also see God. For example, if dad is caring, loving and patient, that’s how we see God is towards us. But, if our Father was absent, or a tyrant and harsh, or even manipulative-well, so goes God in our eyes.

The first thing that went through my head when the judge sentenced me to the maximum 20 years was not, ‘my life is over’ or ‘this isn’t fair’ or even ‘What now?’ The only thing I could think of was how horribly embarrassing it would be for my parents to have to tell their friends, co-workers, or future acquaintances that their son was in prison. How they would have to dodge the questions and pray, if for whatever reason they did have to disclose, that they wouldn’t probe any farther, and mom and dad would have to tell them why or how I ended up here. I halfway expected to be disowned!

Immediately after my hearing, I was escorted back to the jail and told I had a visit. It was my parents. The look on their faces was heart breaking, but the words that came out of my dad’s mouth were LIFE CHANGING!! ‘I am so proud of you Shawn! We are both so proud of you.’ It’s hard for me to think about it without tearing up. I will NEVER forget that moment; the moment I was most unlovable, an outcast, a leper, an embarrassment to our name, our family. I began to sob and melted in humility. At my weakest moment, when I would 100% understand chastisement and rejection, my father not only showed me love, grace and forgiveness, but was proud. When you’re proud of something, the last thing you do is hide it. In fact you find reasons to show it off and my dad was PROUD…of me!

I love my father, my dad….daddy! And I love him even more for showing me God, my Abba Father. Showing me that no matter what I did, how painful, humiliating, horrible, dirty, or public my sin may be, He loves me, forgives me and with a humble heart, is proud of me.

Breaking the Hush~

Shawn

**Thank you Dad! I love you more every day and will never be able to express what you mean to me. You are strong and meek, gentle and stern, you are my dad and I will forever tell this story! I have so many times already to men that need to know! I guess you could say that I’m proud, and as a boy proud of his dad, I do what any boy does…I brag! Happy Father’s Day Daddy!!