breaking the hush

I came to a revelation while in prayer this week. It was 10 years ago this month that I set on the edge of my bed, in a room I loved, living in a house I loved, surrounded by people I loved, in a job I loved, in a city I loved and told God with the most sincere heart, to please do WHATEVER IT TAKES to free me from self; to rid me of all my secret sins, struggles and addictions. And the Lord heard that prayer and saw my heart and hasn’t stopped answering for 10 years! In fact, I’ve made sure never to pray those words again…”whatever it takes.”

I had no idea on the edge of that bed, what that looked like. I’m glad I didn’t. But if I would have known what the other side of those ten years had to offer, I would have prayed those words long before. I have never been so humbled or overwhelmed to have gone through these past 10 years to have learned, and grown to know the God that I know now. To have gone through all the pain, hurt, humiliation, shame, sorrow, regret, despair, hopelessness and rejection was worth every day, month, and year to now be able to experience a freedom shadowed by nothing-I am beyond words or expressions!

God, I have never known you to be so good to any one man than myself. To have called me, cleansed me and equipped me. I owe my entire self to you. Your mercy is beyond my understanding. No man can be as blessed as I.

Breaking the Hush with a most humbled heart~

Shawn (Forgiven)