breaking the hush

I heard some news today that got me thinking—of course I’ve been “thinking” a lot lately but this thinking led to anger! All part of the process I suppose. First, I was angry with the “system” – a specific system and the people in charge of it ~ how can institutions get away with the things they do? Where are the advocates? No one becomes an advocate because they must go through the “system” to catch on and then by the time they escape the grip of the talons, they want nothing to do with the beast! So they stay away, not to get trapped again!

Then my anger turned from “the system” to God – the all knowing, all-controlling God. I questioned Him – Why God? What happened? What about your promises? Then I questioned myself – did I hear right? Did I hear Him at all? Do I recognize His voice? But I DID hear Him and I DO recognize His voice! So those promises…what happened? He lied!? God lied to me!? I don’t want any more promises! I was sure! Like I know my own salvation, I was sure! He lied! Can God lie? Am I just trying to fit all this into my little mind? Well, in that little mind, He lied~ I love Him but where are His promises now? He knows my heart-no point in hiding it! Did you lie God? Why speak to me? For momentary hope? What about your promises now? You are too big God – beyond my understanding - I DON’T GET YOU! But, I don’t think I want your promises – keep them. My human being can’t handle another broken promise!

Breaking the hush,

Shawn